Public Service Girl, being a bright young thing, has quickly caught up with the immensely intricate, highly abstract, scholarly issues of profound social significance that occupy her government department on a daily basis; footy tipping.

She’s also beginning to tap into the values and principles that govern the organisational culture there, namely that Everything Shall Be Prefaced With A Remark About The Weather…

“The weather’s good today”

“Oh I KNOW, isn’t it just GOOOOOOOOOOORgeous weather?!”

“For some perhaps. I’ve been having the sniffles actually”

“Really? You poor thing. I’ve had the sniffles and a ticklish throat”.

“Well, actually, I was just being modest. I’ve really had a stuffy nose, an unbearably sore throat, and, and…a nose runnier than Paula’s attempts at scrambled eggs. Yeah. Oops, I hope I don’t spread it round!”

…and that stoicism in the face of a mere cold – not tenure – determines status in Public Service Girl’s organisation.

“Well I’ve just gotten over the chicken pox. Trump that, suckers!”

There. That’s shut them up. With a self-satisfied smirk, Public Service Girl pivots on the heel of brand new, delicate leather shoe in the loveliest hue of these-cost-as-much-as-my-rent (it’s fun having a salary!) and sashays back to her cubicle.

Her paperclips need her.