- What is it? - I asked.
- We of the Tax Office.
- Have you brought me a cheque?
- Not really, a bill has arrived.
- For what?
- How is the "what", do not you watch TV?
- I do not.
- We advise you to watch, it will not be a surprise next time. The government introduced a new tax, the water tax.

- What, the water too? Two years ago the government introduced a tax on the air. Is not that enough?

- The facts are correct but we agree that everybody may have its own opinion, and should keep it to himself. For two years there were no regulations to the Act. Now you can pay for the two past years and for the current year as well. While the implementing provisions of the Act on tax on water parliament passed along to law. That's why we're here without delay.

- Do you guys have any proof that you are the ones for whom you claim to work?

- Of course! - And they both reached for the optimistic pink star officials of the Tax Office.

- Why two of you are here?
- Safety instructions. You know, terrorists prowl on the roads. And besides, none of us wants to be accused of corruption. In this way we control each other.

- Well, as you have arrived safely here, tell me what is your plan?

- When it comes to air, we need to determine lung capacity taxpayer. There are two ways. We can measure the circumference and convert the result to capacity, or ask for blowing the balloon, and then pass the air in the measuring device. You have the right to choose the method. I chose a balloon. No straining to specifically it came to four liters. They looked at me critically.

- A little less than it should be. It threatens you with health complications. We advise exercise and breathing meditation that increases lung capacity. We will leave appropriate booklet.

- And will it increase the tax, gentlemen?

- Dear sir - agent already clearly felt fraternized – isn’t worth investing a few virtual dollars in improving the real health?
His mate nodded his head.
- All right, I will take your advice when it comes to my health. It's nice to know that the government is so anxious about it. But can you guys tell me why we have, we the people, pay tax for air? Does our Constitution provide for such a possibility at all?

- It went well for us with health, so we stick to this example - suggested the new friend - The government was ill because it had debts and the maturity of a large installment was approaching. The government had to somehow get money. It could not go bankrupt, or even suspend its activities, as it has already happened to one, irresponsible government in another country. Our government is serious, so it sold air hovering over the territory of our country as well as over the continental shelf to the corporation Aerosanto. What we breathe at this moment does not belong to us. Except that we do it legally, and you do not. Actually, we could issue you a ticket, and even arrest you.

- Wait a minute. You said that the air does not belong to us now. This means that before, that is before the sale, it belonged to us. This means that the government has sold our air, not its own. So the government has committed an offense.

- Easy, our government acts in accordance with law. Before the sale was made, the government presented to parliament a draft law on nationalization of air. With one voice abstained, the parliament passed this law.
- But it is also lawlessness, because the air was ours, not the Parliament’s.

- It is not for us, low level officials, get into it. Even the prime minister can’t challenge the decision of the Parliament. Parliament shall decide, and we will be doing. You probably heard, even without watching TV, what is the relationship between the legislative and the executive. Besides, the nation elects MPs, not the government. You can not to elect your current Member again. But you have chosen him, so if you're looking for responsibility of this difficult but necessary decision, I would advise to look in the mirror.

- Not everything is clear for me. Have the MPs made a conscious decision? Has the government, while giving a draft law on nationalization to the Members to approve, informed them that it intends to sell the air to corporation Aerosanto?

- Come on, seemingly intelligent, but at times as if he fell from moon. Members flock to capital to attend the parliament sessions not in order to make informed decisions. They have other, more important things to do. Each of them has in his pocket a shopping list, received from his wife, some, stressed by their hard work, need to relax, visiting nearby wineries or houses of entertainment. And you have to understand them because they are bound by party discipline. They do not have self-awareness. The leader tells them how to vote and that's it. Anyway, he has a large office and experts. The average member has in his office his wife and daughter. What do you expect of him? I am a clerk, but I look at life as it is.

- Well, finally we can talk meaningfully. So tell me whether the sale of air over the entire state to corporation Aerosanto healed government?

- In part, through the sale of air and energy the government was able to repay that installment. However, in the next year, the government found itself in a difficult, say just before heart attack, situation because it did not receive any income from the energy provided. So it had to sell water to the corporation Aquanto.

- I understand that the government sold the infrastructure providing water supply to people in urban areas and currently Aquanto earns from water supply, and not the government.
- Not really, said agent, this transaction took place many years ago. Currently, the government sold rainwater to the corporation Aquanto and that’s why we are here.

- You gentlemen bring difficult topics for me. If corporation Aerosanto owns now air and corporation Aquanto owns rainwater to whom, then, the clouds belong?

- Officials looked at each other. After a moment, the first said. - It's probably an oversight; the clouds have not yet been sold. Even today, I will present a draft proposal for the nationalization of the clouds to the Director. I may even get some promotion.

- A tax will be paid on what base?
- We'll find a way, it is our specialty. For example, we would introduce a tax on photographing clouds. Oh, I see a camera here. Let’s take a note.
- Is not it too much, how would you calculate the tax from the camera?
- In such cases we use average values : the average number of photos per year, the average percentage of images of landscape, the average annual cloudiness. We cooperate with all institutions, including the meteorological office and photographers associations. Many agencies and NGOs are there to help us.

- And how would you determine, gentlemen, tax on my rainwater?
- Simple, we know the average annual precipitation in this area, we measure the surfaces of roofs, check to see if the water collected on them will fit in the tanks installed, and the final result calculate precisely. Don’t forget to tell us in future if you put more tanks on your property. - I have one question: if today you’ll give me a bill, how much time I would have to pay it?

- Three weeks.
- And if I do not have the money at that time?
- You are advised to get it quickly. After three weeks, we charge interest, and after six apply penalty. After three months, under a contract with the corporation Avarusanto that specializes in the recovery of arrears we’ll sell the debt to it. Avarusanto, in turn, will add their high legal costs and tighten due from debtors. If you do not have the money then, the house goes under the hammer.

- Just one more thing bothers me. For gentlemen who are you actually work for - the government or for Aerosanto, Aquanto and Avarusanto?

- We are the government officials, but in the context of privatization, our office is committed to the permanent collection of taxes for corporations. This agreement further strengthened the state money supply, improved the budget and increased employment in our office, and so reduced the national unemployment rate. It relieved social security from some payments. A Corporation is also a piece of the state, which provides services to citizens like us.

Suddenly, from under the house ran my Rottweiler, who listened to the conversation there, could not resist and jumped on the collectors. They screamed and fled. The trio disappeared in the cloud of dust. Briefcases and optimistic pink stars were left on the ground.

The dog with a bloody mouth came back after an hour. I have never seen the collectors again.

Dismantling the Constitution was stopped.

Janusz Rygielski